How My Sons Helped Me Appreciate My Husband
I grew up in a house full of girls. I have two sisters and our childhood home was full of dolls and Barbies and princesses. My experience with boys prior to dating and marriage was limited to my father and the two neighbor boys who lived next door and were usually compliant enough to be the Daddy in our game of house.
Needless to say, marriage and actually living with my husband, a man, was a shock to the system. Six years and two sons later, I've come to realize that most of the things that annoyed and irritated me about my husband were just him acting like a man, the way he was meant to be. Having two little boys running around my house has taught me a great deal about the male species and has helped me both understand and appreciate many of the behaviors that I once found annoyances. Behaviors that I thought were clearly personality flaws (seriously, WHY does he have to do that?!), were being exhibited by my sons with no teaching or prompting by either of their parents.
Of course the male brain, and human brain in general, is way more complex than any list I could possibly make, but here are 6 truths my sons helped me understand about men.
6 Truths My Sons Taught Me About Men
1. Constant motion is necessary. My boys are always moving. Running, jumping, falling out of their chairs at every single meal because they can't sit still,... They're always on the go. On his days off, my husband will start pacing and telling me he's trying to think of something to do. They have so much energy, and frankly, I'm a little jealous.
2. Trucks are awesome. Trucks, cars, things that go. All awesome. My husband and sons alike, have always loved trucks. Shortly after my sons learned to say mama and dada, they learned to say broooom (like a truck) and woo-woo-woo (like a fire truck). Motorized vehicles are an important and fun part of male life. In fact, my husband actually chose a profession where he gets to work on a big red truck (and I'll admit, I sometimes tease him that he only loves his job as a firefighter because he gets to play with fire trucks all day).
3. Sometimes you just have to "Boom!" I don't know if it's just pent up energy, anxiety, emotion, or the need for constant motion, but booming and crashing is a must. Whether it's hammering, chopping down a tree, or banging dump trucks into my walls, there's a whole lot of booming around here!
4. Males cannot multi-task. It's true. If I need to talk to my sons, I have to turn off all noise, television, or radio that might be going, and get them to look directly at me so that they can focus on what I'm saying or they absolutely won't remember a thing. And if I catch my husband while he's in the middle of something else (or trying to think of something to do), I can be pretty sure that I'll have to repeat myself later, though he's much better at feigning attention than our boys are so far. Males like to have their minds fully devoted to one thing at a time. I'm sure this is a much more efficient way of doing things, but I'm also pretty sure I'll never get to experience it... (she says while trying to type, and wipe a baby face, and field complaints about when it's going to be snack time....)
5. Farts are funny. Yes, it's crass, and I don't think I'll ever completely understand. But bodily functions are hilarious. In fact, the first thing our second son did when he entered this world was pee all over the doctor and nurses before they could even get him over to the scale (and of course, my husband still thinks it was hysterical). Welcome to boyhood!
6. The "Nothing Box" exists. This one is really perplexing to me, as a female, but apparently men can think about nothing. My husband and I had many discussions and arguments regarding this topic even prior to getting married. How can you possibly be thinking about nothing?! You have to be thinking about something?! Why can't you just tell me what you're thinking about?! No. Really. He's thinking about nothing. There's apparently some elusive part of his brain that is literally nothing. Like he can turn his brain completely off. I refused to believe this was possible. Until I saw my sons with blank stares on their usually very animated faces, and I immediately knew they were thinking about nothing.
I love my husband and sons more every day, for exactly who they are. I'm incredibly grateful that after my girly childhood I was able to see the other side of life, at least a small glimpse, by having a home where the boys outnumber the girls. And even more I'm glad that I now find endearment and even more love in behaviors that I used to see as annoying, at best, and defects, at worst.
What do you love most about being a "Boy Mom?"
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I only have boys so I find it hard to compare, but I love their constant energy. Sometimes it can be a bit much, but they make every day fun!
My boys and my husband could care less how the house looks or how it's organized. They do not walk through the house and see all of the undone things the way that I do. They can just BE. This is something I learned from having sons. I was really annoyed by this in my husband until I had sons. I am still annoyed by this sometimes (truth!), but I no longer blame him for it. I know it's my flawed outlook.
AK Farris says
I love how in every boy's heart there is a desire to be a "superhero" This never changes as they grow up, My husband still wants me to view him as my hero:)
I am the youngest of 9 children and I have 1 brother. Don’t feel sorry for him because he’s the second oldest and was out of the house before I even knew I had a brother. My father died when I was 15 so I also grew up in a household of females. Now I have 5 sons and 3 daughters. I often realize that it took me having sons to understand the hubby. I totally agree.