Let me start off by saying that I love my children dearly. Should the situation ever arise, I would give my life for them without a second thought, and I thank God every day that I have three such beautiful and amazing blessings in my life. They are cherished, loved, well-adjusted, and never neglected. But I love my husband more. And my marriage with my husband comes first. Let me tell you why.
1. I loved my husband first.
To put it simply, he was here first. I devoted myself to him before I ever devoted myself to being a mother. He’s the one who taught my heart what true love really is. Our love came before our children, so it stays before our children.
2. He’ll be here last.
The entire purpose of parenthood is to raise little people who will someday become big people and leave home and contribute to society. When my “job” as a mother is fulfilled, and our kids leave our home to start their own brand new, successful lives, what will I have left? My husband. He will still be here long after the children go to college or start their own families. He’ll be here after, just as he was here first.
3. I’m “in love” with my husband.
Like I said before, I love my children. I care for them and nurture them and sympathize with them. The love I have for my husband is different, though. It’s more intense, more passionate. We’re friends, and we’re allies.
While doing research for this, I confirmed my suspicion that I am in the minority with my feelings on this subject. I’m not sure what that makes me. A good wife? A bad mother?
Regardless of who you feel you love most, it’s important to make your spouse a priority and not let your marriage get pushed to the back burner. Your marriage is important. Feeling happy and loved with your spouse makes you happier in the rest of your life. It’s one less thing for you to worry or feel guilty about.
I know children have many needs, especially young ones. Our little ones are four, three, and one, so my oldest is just starting to assert his independence with things like eating and dressing. I don’t neglect their needs or diminish their needs, nor am I suggesting that you should. I hug them, and kiss them, and read to them, and teach them. Basically everything a mother “should do.” I don’t think you should discard your children from your priorities. They’re special, and they deserve to be there. But I do think you should elevate your husband and your marriage and your love, to a top and permanent and “’til death do we part” position.
A solid and loving marriage is important for your children. It creates a stable and secure environment for them to grow in, a safe place where their parents are a team. It models for them what a happy marriage looks like, and what they should be looking for when they start searching for their own spouse. My greatest wish for my children is that they are able to find someone who they love as much as I love their father. And that that person loves them back even more.
Did you like this? Find more on my Love & Marriage board on Pinterest!
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