How to Make Your Husband a Priority in your life for a happy and healthy marriage.
How to Make Your Husband a Priority
Remember when you and your husband first got together? When he made butterflies in your stomach and you would smile when you even thought about him? Remember when he was your world? When you stood before him, along with your friends, family, and God and vowed to cherish him for the rest of your life?
It was easy then, wasn't it? Making your husband a priority was simple back then. But life has a way of bogging you down with responsibilities and to-do lists that are never-ending, and the easiest thing to put on the back burner is your marriage, especially if you have kids. After all, your kids can't even meet their own needs without your assistance, and your husband is a full grown man who can take care of himself. It's natural that he gets pushed aside, reasonable even.
I talked about why I think this is a bad idea in "I Love My Husband Most," but I wanted to follow up with some practical advice on how to put your husband first.
Ask Your Husband What Matters Most
I'm not super woman, and I'm most definitely not telling you that you should be either. I have three kids all preschool age and younger, I work from home, and I also have the same never-ending house chore list, just like you. Believe me when I say, I'm not trying to make your list longer or negate the importance of your other responsibilities. However I do think some rearranging is in order.
Since you can't do it all (and you shouldn't! You're human, after all!), sit down and actually ask your husband what makes him feel the most special. Ask him what you can move up (or down) your priority list to show him that you love him and that his wants and needs are important to you.
For example, I'm sitting here writing this in my pajamas with my hair in a ponytail. Mr. Gracious completely doesn't care if I get all dolled up, or even out of my pajamas. In fact, I hear him tell me that I'm beautiful more often on days when I'm in my pajamas and forgot to brush my hair, than when I'm all dressed up for date night! It's totally not on his priority list, so it's way down on mine as well. Mr. Gracious does however appreciate a home free of clutter, clean laundry and dishes, and a home-cooked dinner (His love language is Acts of Service, if you couldn't tell. To find out your spouse's love language, check out The 5 Love Languages. It really is a great read!). So those are what I put higher on my priority list, too.
Questions to Get You Started:
The most obvious question, of course, is simply "What makes you feel special?" But if this just results in your husband staring at you confused, here are some prompts to start you both in the right direction:
- "Are there any meals that you absolutely love when I cook?" Or conversely, ask if there are any meals that you cook that he really doesn't like that he would like you to take off the menu.
- If you could pick one thing that bothers you most around the house that you wish was done everyday, what would it be?
- Don't skirt around your sex life. Both of you need to be honest about your feelings with your current sex life, and discuss any changes that either of you feel need to be made. Sex is an important priority in any marriage.
More Ideas to Show Your Husband He's a Priority
- Let him have a few minutes of downtime when he gets home from work to unwind and adjust to his home surroundings
- Pack a lunch for him for work. If you're really ambitious you can leave a fun, flirty note for him to find.
- Participate in his favorite hobby, or at least be an interested spectator.
- Put on an outfit that he loves. Or stay away from clothes you know he hates.
- Make his favorite meal, or avoid meals he hates.
- Kiss every day.
- Plan a relaxing date night.
- Listen when your spouse does actually want to talk.
- Put your phone away when you're with your husband. Show him he's more important than Facebook or Pinterest, or anyone that happens to text while you're together.
- Schedule a special time to spend together everyday, even if it's just 10 minutes. Our special time is after the kids go to bed, but maybe your special time is over coffee or breakfast, or even while doing something that's usually mundane together, like the dishes after dinner.
- Try starting off on the right foot with a great guide book, like The Husband Project or The Love Dare.
How do you show your husband he's special and a top priority in your life?
Did you like this? Find more on my Love & Marriage boards on Pinterest!
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