• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
The Gracious Wife logo
  • Recipes
  • Family
    • Love & Marriage
    • Parenting
  • House & Home
    • Kitchen and Cooking Tips
    • Cleaning & Organization
    • Budget
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • TikTok
    • YouTube

How to Make Your Husband a Priority

May 29, 2015 · 10 Comments

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Mix

How to Make Your Husband a Priority in your life for a happy and healthy marriage. 

How to Make Your Husband a Priority - great advice for a happy marriage! | love | marriage |

How to Make Your Husband a Priority

Remember when you and your husband first got together? When he made butterflies in your stomach and you would smile when you even thought about him? Remember when he was your world?  When you stood before him, along with your friends, family, and God and vowed to cherish him for the rest of your life?

It was easy then, wasn't it? Making your husband a priority was simple back then.  But life has a way of bogging you down with responsibilities and to-do lists that are never-ending, and the easiest thing to put on the back burner is your marriage, especially if you have kids.  After all, your kids can't even meet their own needs without your assistance, and your husband is a full grown man who can take care of himself. It's natural that he gets pushed aside, reasonable even.

I talked about why I think this is a bad idea in "I Love My Husband Most," but I wanted to follow up with some practical advice on how to put your husband first.

 

Ask Your Husband What Matters Most

I'm not super woman, and I'm most definitely not telling you that you should be either.  I have three kids all preschool age and younger, I work from home, and I also have the same never-ending house chore list, just like you.  Believe me when I say, I'm not trying to make your list longer or negate the importance of your other responsibilities.  However I do think some rearranging is in order.

Since you can't do it all (and you shouldn't! You're human, after all!), sit down and actually ask your husband what makes him feel the most special.  Ask him what you can move up (or down) your priority list to show him that you love him and that his wants and needs are important to you.

For example, I'm sitting here writing this in my pajamas with my hair in a ponytail.  Mr. Gracious completely doesn't care if I get all dolled up, or even out of my pajamas.  In fact, I hear him tell me that I'm beautiful more often on days when I'm in my pajamas and forgot to brush my hair, than when I'm all dressed up for date night! It's totally not on his priority list, so it's way down on mine as well.  Mr. Gracious does however appreciate a home free of clutter, clean laundry and dishes, and a home-cooked dinner  (His love language is Acts of Service, if you couldn't tell.  To find out your spouse's love language, check out The 5 Love Languages.  It really is a great read!). So those are what I put higher on my priority list, too.

 

Questions to Get You Started:

The most obvious question, of course, is simply "What makes you feel special?" But if this just results in your husband staring at you confused, here are some prompts to start you both in the right direction:

  • "Are there any meals that you absolutely love when I cook?" Or conversely, ask if there are any meals that you cook that he really doesn't like that he would like you to take off the menu.
  • If you could pick one thing that bothers you most around the house that you wish was done everyday, what would it be?
  • Don't skirt around your sex life. Both of you need to be honest about your feelings with your current sex life, and discuss any changes that either of you feel need to be made.  Sex is an important priority in any marriage.

 

 

More Ideas to Show Your Husband He's a Priority

  • Let him have a few minutes of downtime when he gets home from work to unwind and adjust to his home surroundings
  • Pack a lunch for him for work. If you're really ambitious you can leave a fun, flirty note for him to find.
  • Participate in his favorite hobby, or at least be an interested spectator.
  • Put on an outfit that he loves. Or stay away from clothes you know he hates.
  • Make his favorite meal, or avoid meals he hates.
  • Kiss every day.
  • Plan a relaxing date night.
  • Listen when your spouse does actually want to talk.
  • Put your phone away when you're with your husband.  Show him he's more important than Facebook or Pinterest, or anyone that happens to text while you're together.
  • Schedule a special time to spend together everyday, even if it's just 10 minutes.  Our special time is after the kids go to bed, but maybe your special time is over coffee or breakfast, or even while doing something that's usually mundane together, like the dishes after dinner.
  • Try starting off on the right foot with a great guide book, like The Husband Project or The Love Dare.

 

How do you show your husband he's special and a top priority in your life?

Did you like this? Find more on my Love & Marriage boards on Pinterest!

You Might Also Like:

10 Best Marriage Books

Marriage is NOT 50/50

30 Date Night Ideas

Browse More on Marriage

See All Family Tips, Tricks, and Advice

Never Miss a Thing!

Join our newsletter to get new recipes, tips, tricks, and tutorials every week!

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.


There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.




 

Photo credit: dollarphotoclub.com

More Family Activities and Ideas

  • A stack of lactation cookies on a pink marble background with a bottle full of milk behind. The top cookie has a bite taken out.
    Lactation Cookies
  • Welcome to the World, Baby Shane!
  • Baby feet next to a car seat buckle
    Baby Essentials You Should Never Buy Used
  • Man and woman couple embracing outdoors wearing a wedding dress and a suit
    10 Mistakes for Newlyweds to Avoid
  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Mix

Family Activities and Ideas, Love & Marriage

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tiffany Montgomery says

    June 12, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    The idea of asking him makes me nervous... I am not a mind reader, but I am afraid he will say I am not doing a good job putting him high on my priority list. But I'm going to do it!

    Reply
  2. Bri says

    August 19, 2017 at 5:15 am

    What work do you do from home? It's my dream to be there more for my family at home than working 12 hours a day. This is why my hubby hasn't been priority.

    Reply
    • Michelle says

      August 20, 2017 at 8:31 am

      Hi, Bri! I own this site, so this is actually my work. Writing, editing, photography, marketing, recipe development,... Lots for a small business owner to do. I wouldn't say I work *less* than average people BUT I do get total flexibility of hours.

      Reply
  3. Janet says

    February 17, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    I totally get putting husband on your priority list, don’t get me wrong, but do you put anything for yourself on your priority list as well? If getting dressed and doing your hair makes you feel good why put it at the bottom only because he doesn’t find it a priority to him? Can’t you do it for yourself?
    As I’m reading this it seems that it’s do everything for your husband and nothing for yourself. You can’t loose yourself in your marriage. What if you already have a high demanding husband who thinks that should just forget about yourself and only make him a priority?? That’s my current situation.

    Reply
    • Michelle says

      February 17, 2018 at 5:38 pm

      That's a frustrating place to be in. Of course, you need to be able to do things for yourself that make you feel good or happy or even just human. The purpose of the writing was to encourage wives to make sure that we don't get lost in housework and child-rearing and lose sight of the fact our husbands need to be at the top of our priority list too. So just some little things to let your husband know that, even when you're busy, he's still a valuable and important part of your life.

      For me, I'm a home body who loves her jammies, so getting dressed or doing hair and make up naturally fall low on my list. But I do do things for myself. Every day I take an hour lunch and enjoy a book, and that really helps me keep my sanity. It doesn't benefit anyone except me.

      It sounds like you're maybe in a situation where you're being neglected and are left feeling like you aren't a priority. You absolutely should be to your husband. The road goes both ways. I encourage you to let him know how you're feeling because there's a possibility he doesn't even realize how he's making you feel. I hope you can get things worked out and find a happier place.

      Reply
  4. Shamone says

    January 21, 2019 at 12:46 am

    I like this article. I show love for my husband by making his breakfast, lunch, and dinners. I also send him encouraging messages either by little notes in his lunch bag or around the house, or texting. I also do the cleaning around the house and he loves it when I take care of those things. It makes me happy that those simple things makes him feel appreciated. I Ivo these things because he’s said it many times how much he appreciates what I do for him.

    Reply
    • Michelle says

      January 22, 2019 at 8:04 am

      That's so sweet of both you. You for thinking to do things that makes him feel appreciated, and him for telling you how much he appreciates what you do. I hope you have a long and blessed marriage.

      Reply
  5. Maddie says

    January 29, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    I love the idea by asking my husband how to please him or what to do to make Him feels like a priority on my list when in my heart He was,I am someone who is praying for a revival for my marriage ,your prayer is greatly needed.thank you so much for the great advice .God bless !

    Reply
  6. moj says

    July 08, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    hi, i read this article and my husband and i have been married for 15 years. we have 2 chidren ages 9 amd 8 months. i left my job in 2017 to move so we could be closer to his. i do all the cooking, paying bills, laundry, tending to the kids, and help him with the yard work. after my many other jobs, i am tired. he likes to sit on the couch all day and watch movies and after the 2nd movie i want to find something different to entertain us. i always have to come to him and do the things i want to do. i know he has a stressful job, how do i get better at making him a priority? i get resentful at times because it seems like all he does is go to work and i have the 10 jobs.

    Reply
  7. Marilyn says

    October 26, 2020 at 8:19 pm

    Making the time to make my husband a priority is my biggest drawback. But I know how important it is! Thanks for reminding me again and for the encouragement.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Picture of Michelle Medlin, The Gracious Wife

Hello! I'm Michelle!
I'm a comfort food lover and self-taught cook with five amazing kids and a firefighter husband, surviving mostly on coffee. I love to create easy and delicious family recipes, and share creative family tips I've learned along the way.
Welcome to The Gracious Wife!
MORE ABOUT ME>>

Celebrate 4th of July!

Strawberry rhubarb crisp on a small white plate topped with vanilla ice cream with a spoon in it with a navy linen and fresh strawberries behind.

Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp

Preacher Cake topped with cream cheese frosting and chopped pecans on a small white plate.

Preacher Cake

Romesco pasta salad in a wooden bowl topped with freshly chopped parsley and a linen napkin behind.

Romesco Pasta Salad

Tabouli Salad in a wooden bowl topped with fresh tomatoes, two lemon slices, wedges of pita, with a spoon scooping out a bite.

Tabouli Salad

Overhead view of a cold veggie pizza topped with veggies like cucumber slices, shredded carrots, cherry tomatoes, fresh dill, and more, sitting on a parchment paper with a slice pulled out away from the rest.

Cold Veggie Pizza

Creamy Cucumber salad topped with fresh chives in a white ceramic bowl sitting on a rustic wood background.

Creamy Cucumber Salad

More Summer Recipes & Ideas

Summer Salads

Chicken tender being dipped into a small bowl of homemade honey mustard dip

Homemade Honey Mustard Dipping Sauce

Overhead view of honey mustard chicken salad with fresh greens, avocado slices, beans, red onions, chicken, and homemade honey mustard drizzled on top.

Honey Mustard Chicken Salad

Summer slaw with a creamy tangy dressing in a glass bowl with a silicone spoon taking a scoop out.

Summer Slaw

Large glass bowl of fruit salad with grapes, strawberries, and blueberries topped with lemon and lime wedges with a wooden spoon in the middle.

Easy Homemade Fruit Salad

Overhead view of Mexican street corn salad in a large wooden bowl topped with cotija cheese, chile lime seasoning, and lime slices next to a bunch of fresh cilantro and a striped linen napkin on a rustic background.

Mexican Street Corn Salad

A big bowl of Ambrosia salad with a cherry on top with mini marshmallows scattered around it.

Ambrosia Salad

Spicy mayo sauce being drizzled over a spicy tuna roll bowl next to wooden chopsticks and a white linen

Spicy Tuna Roll Bowl

Berry cheesecake salad topped with a sliced strawberry next to a lemon wedge and fresh raspberries

Berry Cheesecake Salad

Close up side view of Doritos Taco Salad in a large glass bowl with a bag of nacho cheese Doritos behind it.

Doritos Taco Salad

More Salad Recipes

Reader Favorites on The Gracious Wife

Close up picture of a Boston Cream Pie Cupcakes with a bite taken out on a marble background.

Boston Cream Pie Cupcakes

A glass mug of green mint white hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and crushed green mint candy pieces on a white marble surface surrounded by more star mint candies.

Mint White Hot Chocolate

A slice of no bake s'mores cheesecake topped with mini marshmallows and graham cracker crumbs on a small plate.

No Bake S'mores Cheesecake

Slice of crockpot breakfast casserole on a white plate with stainless steel crock pot in the background.

Crockpot Breakfast Casserole

A corner slice of chicken pot pie with golden crust on a small plate with a fork with a bite on it, on a rustic wood background with a striped linen

The BEST Chicken Pot Pie

Footer

  • About The Gracious Wife
  • Contact Us
  • Copyright Notice
  • Privacy Policy
  • Disclosure

You can find me here too!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • TikTok
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Disclosure

The Gracious Wife is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. All our thoughts and opinions are our own and we are not paid for or mandated to provide a positive review.

2024© The Medlin Group
  • Blog
  • Contact Us

Copyright © 2025 The Gracious Wife ·

4.5K shares
4.5K shares